To commemorate the untimely death of Chuck Norris in March we will be reviewing one of his films. Norris, who normally would give the Grim Reaper a roundhouse to the face, finally conceded to death moved on to his rightful place on Mount Olympus, relegating Zeus to running a gyro stand on Queens Boulevard. Some say that Norris actually died 20 years ago, but death was just working up the courage to tell him.
Now that he is gone, I can safely say that Norris was never going to win an Oscar and many of his films leave something to be desired. But he was an icon, nonetheless. A prolific worker, he starred in numerous television and movie roles, often using his mastery of several martial arts, including one that he created himself called Chun Kuk Do (I’m not kidding).
One of his best films (which is only rated a 6.3 on IMDB and would have been lower but for a threatening stare from Norris) is Lone Wolf McQuade (1983). This film is pure brain candy with plenty of karate, shooting, explosions, monster trucks, a few beers, and Chuck Norris. Your wife will not like this movie.
Norris stars in this stereotypical but entertaining 80’s flick as J.J. “Lone Wolf” McQuade, a tough-as-nails Texas Ranger. As you can imagine McQuade is a boss fighter (NYPD parlance for cops who never went along with the program) and a rule breaker. He makes great arrests but works alone and does law enforcement his way. He lives alone in a ramshackle abode in the desert – just him, his dog (which is a wolf), and his souped-up Dodge Ramcharger. McQuade and his .44 magnum (Danny Vermin must have gotten the last .88 magnum) can take on any ne’er-do-well with ease. Chuck Norris doesn’t need much character development, one kick explains everything.
He may have met his match with an international arms dealer in Rawley Wilkes, played by David Carradine. Wilkes kills McQuade’s witness and his friend, fellow Ranger Dakota Brown. That upsets McQuade, but when Wilkes men kidnap McQuade’s daughter, and kill his dog….err...wolf, the die is cast - McQuade seeks revenge.
Norris and Carradine are supported by a cast that includes L.Q. Jones, Robert Beltran, Leon Issac Kennedy, Dana Kimmell, and William Sanderson. Model Barbara Carrera plays love interest Lola Richardson. No one is winning an Oscar here, but that is not what this movie is about.
This is action, pure and simple. No plot twists, a simple story, and plenty of martial arts. Obviously, there is going to be a showdown between Carradine and Norris, and the audience is not disappointed. The two martial arts legends throw away their guns for an epic mono-a-mono confrontation.
Lone Wolf McQuade is so aggressively over-the-top that it makes actual law enforcement officers laugh, cringe, and quietly wonder whether internal affairs ever got within fifty miles of Texas Ranger J.J. McQuade. No police reports are made, or even referenced, in the entire run of death and destruction at the hands of McQuade. Bullet wounds are shaken off, injuries that would require dozens of surgery are merely flesh wounds to this cast of bad asses. McQuade doesn’t just know karate – he knows ka-razy. The film defies credulity, but it is fun.
Between the fighting, there are moments of tenderness, tears, and love between Norris and Carrera, and as we know, Chuck Norris only uses a stunt double for crying scenes. The scenes are perfunctory but help with what little plot exists. The most important policing takeaway from this film is that it gave us the enduring cinematic lesson: You can suspend a cop. You can bury him alive. You can blow up his truck. But if that cop is Chuck Norris… you’d better start writing your apology letter.
Hopefully no one was inspired to join the police department based on this film. They would be sorely disappointed. But, if you want to turn off the brain for a bit and enjoy a pure American shoot ‘em up, this is a great place to start.
Lone Wolf McQuade is an hour and 45 minutes of pure violence, bad one-liners, and 80’s cheesiness. If that sounds too good to be true, you are wrong. You can find Lone Wolf McQuade for free on YouTube, so you have that going for you. This weekend, enjoy our recently departed American hero in his most explosive role.
Norris’s Chun Kuk Do includes a code of honor and rules to live by. They are:
I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways.
I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements.
I will continually work at developing love, happiness and loyalty in my family.
I will look for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile.
If I have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing.
I will always be as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
I will maintain an attitude of open-mindedness.
I will maintain respect for those in authority and demonstrate this respect at all times.
I will always remain loyal to my God, my country, family and my friends.
I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country and myself.
Some pretty good rules for everyone. Thanks for reading The Ops Desk. Stay Safe!
Chuck Norris was a truly nice guy. I met him in 1992 when I was an Assistant Special Agent in Charge in Houston, TX with U.S. Customs. One day, Harry, our Press Liaison person came into my office, and said, “Boss, can I borrow one of our Black Hawks?” I told him to sit down and start from the beginning. He explained that Chuck Norris was making a movie (Sidekicks) in Houston, and one part of the Movie required a Black Hawk to be used in a scene. I asked Harry, “If we can do this, what is in it for us (U.S. Customs). Harry told me that if we could get a helicopter for a one-day scene, Chuck Norris would do unlimited PSAs (Public Service Announcements) to tell kids not to do drugs on behalf of Customs. I ran the idea up the chain and surprisingly, a Black Hawk out of our New Orleans office was made available, along with its air crew, for an afternoon’s shooting.
The scene went well and Chuck and is brother Aaron, who was also a Karate black belt and was Chuck’s movie director, gave the Black Hawk’s air crew a tour of the set, met the actors, and had a memorable experience. Chuck honored his word and did the PSA’s to help us communicate with the Houston kids. Chuck and Aaron were both fantastic people.